Ok – the Three Lions have to go. I mean – as Billy Bragg sings – they ‘never grew from England’s dirt’. We need something indigenous. I thought about 3 red squirrels... but you can hardly find any now. I’m from the North – let’s make it 3 whippets.
And the ‘British National Anthem’? Hell – it’s England so why are we singing a ‘British’ national anthem anyway? Is there another country in the world that does NOT have it’s own national anthem? So I’ve re-written Jerusalem (daft words, Blakey lad). Did it years ago, so that will do. You can thank me later... (...quite fancy being Poet Laureate, if you must – but of course that’s up to the full council of the revolutionary committee of the People’s Popular Liberation Front for New England...)
Now – St.George. See ‘The Three Lions’ above. He was from Lebanon, for goodness sake! What we need is an English hero. Someone who is an English legend. And there is one such man. Unique amongst all Englishmen, this man did not just live at one point in our history, but at several key points right throughout our history – he is therefore the very embodiment of English history. I give you our new patron saint – Edmund Blackadder.
And the next time our rugger lads have to face the All Black’s Haka, I want our forward line to follow up by pulling out pairs of nice white hankies and bells and terrorise them with a Morris Dance – that’ll show ‘em.
New England
And were our father’s long ago
Walking on England’s mountains seen?
And did they bravely fight and die
For England’s pleasant pastures green?
And came our friends from far and wide
To make us strong and cure our ills?
And was our nation great builded here
Among these green and pleasant hills?
England the home of Will Shakespeare
England the home of Constable
England the home of brave Churchill
England the home of Charles Darwin
They did not cease from mental fight
Nor let the time slip through their hand
And they helped build this nation great
In England’s green and pleasant land.
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