19 Nov 2009
I went into Guildford to buy new underpants. It’s not really such a big day, is it? Not really up there with ‘my first sexual experience’ or ‘the day I met Eddie Izzard in a lift in Boston...’ It was a problem though. I mean for decades I have always bought whatever pants my current partner liked. My ex-wife, of a lifetime (and a house) ago, liked boxers, so it used to be those. Mind you I was never that comfortable - they always seemed to be the loose, floppy insubstantial kind back then, and after a lifetime of things being held snugly in place, it almost felt like stepping outside naked.
My next long-term partner had a preference for slips and targas and the like and they did the job for her, which was fine by me, but years later this 59-year body looks a tad ridiculous clad like a lad from The Chippendales. So now, on my own, with no one to please, interest, (or make laugh) - what to buy? Well, working class habits die hard, and there was a deal on boxers, so that made the decision. It turns out these are the snug kind now anyway, so I’m quite happy with that. At 59 I discover new underwear - the world continues to astonish, eh?
Since when did most shop assistants start wearing all black? I noticed that nearly everywhere I go that is now the regulation uniform. It’s ok - just odd that it seems to be across the board, and it seems a bit... um... ‘military’. The security guards I see wear all black, too, and is it mandatory that all security guards have shaven heads? It’s like an audition for ‘The King and I’...
Where do birds go to die? I walked under a bridge on a path by the riverside and passed close by a sad pigeon huddled there who barely moved as I passed him - I nearly stood on him. He didn’t look too grand - and it made me wonder why I never see dead birds. The towns are always full of pigeons, sparrows (though fewer these days), starlings, etc., and gardens have their blue tits, robins and others, yet I can’t remember the last time I saw a dead one.
A white van goes past with ‘TRW Solicitors’ on the side. It has a roof rack with an extension ladder lashed to it. For a firm of solicitors? What next? A motorcycle delivery man for La Senza? Would he have to wear black leather boxers, then? Actually, I think both my ex’s would be happy with that... probably Eddie Izzard too...
My next long-term partner had a preference for slips and targas and the like and they did the job for her, which was fine by me, but years later this 59-year body looks a tad ridiculous clad like a lad from The Chippendales. So now, on my own, with no one to please, interest, (or make laugh) - what to buy? Well, working class habits die hard, and there was a deal on boxers, so that made the decision. It turns out these are the snug kind now anyway, so I’m quite happy with that. At 59 I discover new underwear - the world continues to astonish, eh?
Since when did most shop assistants start wearing all black? I noticed that nearly everywhere I go that is now the regulation uniform. It’s ok - just odd that it seems to be across the board, and it seems a bit... um... ‘military’. The security guards I see wear all black, too, and is it mandatory that all security guards have shaven heads? It’s like an audition for ‘The King and I’...
Where do birds go to die? I walked under a bridge on a path by the riverside and passed close by a sad pigeon huddled there who barely moved as I passed him - I nearly stood on him. He didn’t look too grand - and it made me wonder why I never see dead birds. The towns are always full of pigeons, sparrows (though fewer these days), starlings, etc., and gardens have their blue tits, robins and others, yet I can’t remember the last time I saw a dead one.
A white van goes past with ‘TRW Solicitors’ on the side. It has a roof rack with an extension ladder lashed to it. For a firm of solicitors? What next? A motorcycle delivery man for La Senza? Would he have to wear black leather boxers, then? Actually, I think both my ex’s would be happy with that... probably Eddie Izzard too...
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